The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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