He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
