why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
