Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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