Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
