I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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