I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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