I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
