I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
