perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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