Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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