If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
