dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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