dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
