i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
