Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
