Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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