So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
