It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
