Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
