I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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