if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
