i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
