oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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