It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
