exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
