I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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