garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
