I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
