He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
