what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
