Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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