I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
