Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
