i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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