You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
