covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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