What a fucking waste of an outfit
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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