you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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