Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
