i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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