i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
