I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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