You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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