it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
cat food counts as protein by the way
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
