That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
