I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
