is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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