My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
