i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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