So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
