oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
not ubering you a puppy
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
